The Downside in the Streets of a Stay-at-Home Mom!

The Real Life Behind the Curtain

Transitioning from a working mom to staying at home with my kiddos was a no brainer for me. My family needed me in a way that required my full presence, and I had to show up! I had no idea what would come along with it. Not a clue. Being at home with four kids in a pandemic surely showed me what I was made of. I thought to myself, “Wait, so I am supposed to do this day in and day out? I don’t clock out? I don’t get a lunch break or have sick time? Wow! This is REAL!”

There are so many opinions of what being a SAHM should look like, and it can be difficult striving to live up to them. I must have a clean house. My laundry should never be behind. Everything should be organized and running smoothly. Hmmm…and let’s mention the challenges that can come with it all-the mental load, the suppressed feelings, the burnout, the overwhelm and the stress. There is no Time-Out!

And on top of it all, I am judged for not working and dare not complain because I get to stay home, so I have it “easy”. I am a hard working mom that is sadly misunderstood and overworked. But I have to see pushing, right?!

There is a large window of portrayals on social media, showing what a “good” stay-at-home mom should look like. According to these standards, a stay-at-home mom has well organized pantries, well-mannered children that smile for the camera when asked, and spotless aesthetically pleasing homes. They are always happy, and taking relaxing trips and vacations. But the truth is, that’s not everyone’s reality.

I deal with tantrums, fights and defiance, meltdowns, and the list goes on… I’m missing

something! It’s just not adding up! I feel like crap trying to keep up. I’m yelling at my kids because they are not doing what I see on social media. We aren’t meeting the expectations. I am falling behind with what society says I should be doing. Nothing is working and it’s not fair!

The downside of being a SAHM is the outside noise, expectations, and influences on top of our daily duties. It is draining! I’ve learned that it all comes down to MY household dynamics. Shutting out the expectations of those that do not live in my home is key. My family morals and values are what’s important. Everything else is just unhealthy. It’s not healthy to internalize the judgments of others. It’s come down to two core things—boundaries and the emotional environment of my household.

• Create boundaries for yourself.

• Get comfortable with being in your own lane and staying there.

You’re going to say NO to the things that don’t fit your family dynamic.

You are going to stay true to your family values.

You are going to do what is beneficial for you and your household without taking in the judgements of others. Control your home environment by creating peace. Use structure and routines for stability. A safe space brings calm to the chaos!

• Schedule in quiet time for the entire household so that you can have a moment.

"This is my family, and these are our rules."

Yes, there are downsides to being a SAHM, but I wouldn’t change the flexibility and comfort it has provided my family!

"Motherhood isn’t about fitting into a mold—it’s about breaking it to fit your family’s unique masterpiece."

-The Calm Balanced Mom